So i am not quite ready to go to bed, and i am bored and eating stale goldfish. I had a baggy full of goldfish, that i filled up at home, before the beginning of the semester. They are the same crunchyness, but they definitely don't taste great like they did months ago. They are crazy fish though, because they never mold like bread does. Peculiar! They just change taste and i don't get it, because matter cannot be created or destroyed. This is the law of conservation of mass. So where did the flavor go then? It obviously went somewhere. If i breathed it on accident i just want to say that flavor tastes better in its solid form and it is boring and tasteless in its gaseous state. I just have to learn how to condense it and turn it back into a solid. Then I would condense all the flavor from stale cookies and stuff and I would eat that tasty solid constantly. Now the question is why it evaporated and left in the first place, and how do those freshening things work that you find in chips and random places. And why don't they come in goldfish boxes. If i could make them i would put them in all my food so that they always stayed fresh. I also wand to say that Ziploc is a bunch of liars. They say that the zip seal plastic sandwich bags hold in freshness. Well news flash to Ziplock, my goldfish went stale in the freshening Ziplock bag. I would sue, but there is probably some disclaimer somewhere. So since my predicament is at a dead end, I guess i will just start eating my crackers before they get months old, and not trust Ziplock.
I have just noticed that being in science classes has put me on an exponential curve in using corny science jokes and lame science analogies. I was thinking the other day in my idle time, they types of relationships i have with those around me. I was labeling my relationships as either covalent, polar-covalent, or ionic. And just fyi you are always slightly covalent in every ionic bond, and vice versa. Most girls i have dated have been mostly covalent, maybe like a 1.5, which makes me mostly ionic i have decided, but not super polar. Also the sharing of our mustard and ketchup is completely ionic, because i haven't used it once. I also decided in class what kind of element i am. I think i figured out that i am a calogen like clorine or iodine. I picked it according to size of the element, its stability, and its desire to complete its last orbital. The only problem is that it usually picks up a negative charge, so i might have to pick a different element, because i don't like being a downer. I guess i have something to think about tomorrow while i shave my manly beard. I wonder if that made sense.
peace out!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Ward Halloween party = tis IT(pronounced tis eyet)
So first off i didn't mention Sunday. Sunday was awesome! We went to church with awesome lessons, and spiritualness. I didn't even fall asleep. You will learn that i judge the quality of every meeting by whether i felt tired or fell asleep or not. So then we got to hear president Eiring at stake conference, and he was hilarious and way good. This is the son not the apostle.
After the meeting, these cute girls from the ward invited our apartment over for dinner and made tons of good food for us. It was way good, and then we all played games after. We played dare UNO, where if you lose the UNO game you had to do a dare. I luckily didn't lose and have to enter a random apartment and sing i am a little tea pot for them.
We left there and something funny happened to Craig that he told me not to tell anyone, so i can't but it was hilarious. But we went and visited this tight girl from one of my classes and wished her happy birthday. The other guys then went to Dallin's house while i visited Emily and Andrea's apartment at Nauvoo, where they fed me delicious snacks of peanut-butter delightness.
Then I went to bed after having a pillow talk with Jacob about the girl he is crazy about. He is a goner.
Monday was fun as my science lab was canceled and so i did homework and texted Taylor at the table behind me trying to pick her future husband out of the guys sitting around her. She is one tough cookie as she turned all of them down. Better luck next time i guess. After that i ate tons of Jack in the box tacos. Which was a terrible idea, because we planned on working out right after. So we went and ran stairs and the tacos did not want to run. So i ran a bit and then laid down to let the riot in my stomach get back under control, and then i ran again.
Today was fun. Went to my classes and paid stellar attention. Then tonight we went to our ward Halloween party. We wore white trash bags, and we were weight trash. Extremely clever i know! It was my idea that i came up with when i was really bored somewhere or maybe it was when i was in the bathroom and yelled urica. It was at a barn that was cool with a dance floor in the upstairs. We combined with another ward and the dance was sick! It was fun and the girls in the other ward, were a bunch of girls we met one day at the gas station and became friends with. So it was fun to chill with them. Also I saw a girl there, that I had a major crush on and one that I still like. So i got to talk to her tonight. I also met this awesome girl from Brooklyn today too. I am going to make some awesome friends this semester:-)
So I like girls a lot. They are my Achilles heel. I am still going strong with my bet though, but if i meet a good looking tall black girl I will call the bet off. I am sad though, because I didn't get to go to the haunted mill this year:-( but i did find out where the ice caves are today and that might be the activity for this weekend if i don't find a girl for the haunted house.
Oh and chocolate fudge is a new type of pop tart and i give it two thumbs and a one of my other fingers. the end.
Peace out!!!
After the meeting, these cute girls from the ward invited our apartment over for dinner and made tons of good food for us. It was way good, and then we all played games after. We played dare UNO, where if you lose the UNO game you had to do a dare. I luckily didn't lose and have to enter a random apartment and sing i am a little tea pot for them.
We left there and something funny happened to Craig that he told me not to tell anyone, so i can't but it was hilarious. But we went and visited this tight girl from one of my classes and wished her happy birthday. The other guys then went to Dallin's house while i visited Emily and Andrea's apartment at Nauvoo, where they fed me delicious snacks of peanut-butter delightness.
Then I went to bed after having a pillow talk with Jacob about the girl he is crazy about. He is a goner.
Monday was fun as my science lab was canceled and so i did homework and texted Taylor at the table behind me trying to pick her future husband out of the guys sitting around her. She is one tough cookie as she turned all of them down. Better luck next time i guess. After that i ate tons of Jack in the box tacos. Which was a terrible idea, because we planned on working out right after. So we went and ran stairs and the tacos did not want to run. So i ran a bit and then laid down to let the riot in my stomach get back under control, and then i ran again.
Today was fun. Went to my classes and paid stellar attention. Then tonight we went to our ward Halloween party. We wore white trash bags, and we were weight trash. Extremely clever i know! It was my idea that i came up with when i was really bored somewhere or maybe it was when i was in the bathroom and yelled urica. It was at a barn that was cool with a dance floor in the upstairs. We combined with another ward and the dance was sick! It was fun and the girls in the other ward, were a bunch of girls we met one day at the gas station and became friends with. So it was fun to chill with them. Also I saw a girl there, that I had a major crush on and one that I still like. So i got to talk to her tonight. I also met this awesome girl from Brooklyn today too. I am going to make some awesome friends this semester:-)
So I like girls a lot. They are my Achilles heel. I am still going strong with my bet though, but if i meet a good looking tall black girl I will call the bet off. I am sad though, because I didn't get to go to the haunted mill this year:-( but i did find out where the ice caves are today and that might be the activity for this weekend if i don't find a girl for the haunted house.
Oh and chocolate fudge is a new type of pop tart and i give it two thumbs and a one of my other fingers. the end.
Peace out!!!
Monday, October 25, 2010
A real cowboy!
So this weekend has been pretty crazy. Saturday was loco, because well I woke up early so i could go to Christine's volleyball game. She is amazing and It was fun to see her slam it down and do this shake dance whenever they scored off a serve. Then i got to play bball with two other kids who were way good, and humbled me with their quickness and swishes. It was fun though, and i am still not in good shape, but i am getting there. I also saw another squirrel and now i want to count them and put tags on them to see how many there are in total on campus.
The rest of the day was weird as i felt like i was trying to kill time, because i was nervous for the rodeo and just wanted it to start. I did visit the colonial girls though. Also me and Jacob decided to carbo load so we could have energy to run down animals. So we went to wingers and it turns out they were have an all you can eat sticky fingers. So we accepted the challenge and went to work. I ate so many, till the point i was twitching from sticky finger over dose. And yes you can OD on sticky fingers i decided. The sauce definitely messes with you after a while. So we ate our weight in chicken and we both impressed our cute weigh-tress. Then we stumbled out and made it to the couches. I crashed on the couch in a food coma for like 2 hours. It was a great pain, and man did i get the carbs i needed.
So game time comes and we go down to the fairgrounds. The crowd is filling up the stands and our excitement was building. I was scared for a bit, when signing the paperwork and it is going over all the legal stuff if i get hurt or die. It was kinda loco knowing it was possible, but yet again I felt safer chasing a steer with horns, then crossing the Rexburg cross walks at night. I think i am more likely to die crossing the street then with a steer. So i signed my autograph on the forms. So then they got us all together and showed us the event scheduled, and we peeked over the fence at the steers. We googled steers and they were way bigger looking on google then in real life. So that boosted my confidence. So they announced us all and we ran out and bowed and stuff. They butchered my name though, so i didn't know they said my name until no one else was running out, and when my roommate said that it was me.
So before our event we jumped the fences and got to chase some steers and try to pull ribbons off their tails. I got one off, but it dropped and someone else grabbed it. I grabbed a hold several times to them though. It was a blast, and Jacob missed the tail on one steer and stuck his hand just under its tail into the scat residue. Oh and there was like 40 other people all chasing wildly with us.
Then we watched the cool events of people riding the bucking steers and a guy ride two horses at the same time and jump them both. It was cool, but finally the 3 man steer ride was up.
So we all lined up behind the barrels at the halfway line, with the steers at the opposite end. They all had two ropes hanging off of their horns to steer the steer with. So the buzzer went and me, Jacob, and Craig were off. We went to the back, and Craig jumped in and grabbed one, but lost grip when another steer pushed him off. By that time Jacob had caught one by the horn, just to have the same thing happen to him, but Craig turned and caught it by the horn and with a constipated look, pulled it to the ground. So it was laying on the ground and we got to it as it was getting up. I was suppose to ride it and i was going to mount it from behind, but it kept kicking and i want kids one day so i ran to the side and jumped on. I hugged that thing so tight. We got it moving forward with me awkwardly hanging on for dear life. Then it got its foot stuck on another rope and just collapsed. I jumped off and backed up. My roommates savagely manhandled that thing, but we didn't win.
So really it was the funnest thing this semester. We almost peed our pants after talking about it and as Craig reenacted each of our faces during different moments. Oh and our FHE sisters came to watch, and some other friends of ours. It was way fun, and we even got to chase pigs after that.
So after we went to Horkley to get pop, and we were really dirty and we smelled like manure. It was funny to see people avoid us. We slept like rocks though and with big smiles. I feel like a real cowboy now, but i am still not going to listen to country music. I am not that cowboy yet:-).
So really I love life, and God has blessed me an incredible amount. I get so much more than I deserve, and I live with the funnest guys in Rexburg. What a life!!!
peace out
The rest of the day was weird as i felt like i was trying to kill time, because i was nervous for the rodeo and just wanted it to start. I did visit the colonial girls though. Also me and Jacob decided to carbo load so we could have energy to run down animals. So we went to wingers and it turns out they were have an all you can eat sticky fingers. So we accepted the challenge and went to work. I ate so many, till the point i was twitching from sticky finger over dose. And yes you can OD on sticky fingers i decided. The sauce definitely messes with you after a while. So we ate our weight in chicken and we both impressed our cute weigh-tress. Then we stumbled out and made it to the couches. I crashed on the couch in a food coma for like 2 hours. It was a great pain, and man did i get the carbs i needed.
So game time comes and we go down to the fairgrounds. The crowd is filling up the stands and our excitement was building. I was scared for a bit, when signing the paperwork and it is going over all the legal stuff if i get hurt or die. It was kinda loco knowing it was possible, but yet again I felt safer chasing a steer with horns, then crossing the Rexburg cross walks at night. I think i am more likely to die crossing the street then with a steer. So i signed my autograph on the forms. So then they got us all together and showed us the event scheduled, and we peeked over the fence at the steers. We googled steers and they were way bigger looking on google then in real life. So that boosted my confidence. So they announced us all and we ran out and bowed and stuff. They butchered my name though, so i didn't know they said my name until no one else was running out, and when my roommate said that it was me.
So before our event we jumped the fences and got to chase some steers and try to pull ribbons off their tails. I got one off, but it dropped and someone else grabbed it. I grabbed a hold several times to them though. It was a blast, and Jacob missed the tail on one steer and stuck his hand just under its tail into the scat residue. Oh and there was like 40 other people all chasing wildly with us.
Then we watched the cool events of people riding the bucking steers and a guy ride two horses at the same time and jump them both. It was cool, but finally the 3 man steer ride was up.
So we all lined up behind the barrels at the halfway line, with the steers at the opposite end. They all had two ropes hanging off of their horns to steer the steer with. So the buzzer went and me, Jacob, and Craig were off. We went to the back, and Craig jumped in and grabbed one, but lost grip when another steer pushed him off. By that time Jacob had caught one by the horn, just to have the same thing happen to him, but Craig turned and caught it by the horn and with a constipated look, pulled it to the ground. So it was laying on the ground and we got to it as it was getting up. I was suppose to ride it and i was going to mount it from behind, but it kept kicking and i want kids one day so i ran to the side and jumped on. I hugged that thing so tight. We got it moving forward with me awkwardly hanging on for dear life. Then it got its foot stuck on another rope and just collapsed. I jumped off and backed up. My roommates savagely manhandled that thing, but we didn't win.
So really it was the funnest thing this semester. We almost peed our pants after talking about it and as Craig reenacted each of our faces during different moments. Oh and our FHE sisters came to watch, and some other friends of ours. It was way fun, and we even got to chase pigs after that.
So after we went to Horkley to get pop, and we were really dirty and we smelled like manure. It was funny to see people avoid us. We slept like rocks though and with big smiles. I feel like a real cowboy now, but i am still not going to listen to country music. I am not that cowboy yet:-).
So really I love life, and God has blessed me an incredible amount. I get so much more than I deserve, and I live with the funnest guys in Rexburg. What a life!!!
peace out
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Guitars Unpluged
So today was sssssssiiiiiiiiccccccccccckkkkkkkkkk! Ok so maybe not that much maybe minus a few c's and k's. But it was still fun. So i had one class canceled today so i got to sleep in and then i got to come home early. I also finished with my homework early. So then Jacob found a flier about a rodeo with a free entry and since i haven't been in a rodeo before i decided to sign up. They were all filled up for steer riding and so i signed up for 3 man steer riding and got my roommates to sign up with me. So i guess my roommates have to chase down the steer and grab the ropes holding it and then i have to jump on and somehow ride it past some finish line, and we are suppose to do this faster then everyone else. So i am going to be in a rodeo tomorrow.
As for tonight i went and watched psyche at Ashley's apartment with her and her roommates. After i went to guitars unplugged. I got there like an hour early and sat by myself like a loser and waited for my roommates to get there, and they didn't get there till like 10 till. But the show was good, and there were some really good songs. Brian our next door neighbor did a hilarious song about breaking up with a girl.
The dance however was the highlight for me. It has been a long time since i danced and i miss having the dance parties at home in haley's room or my room. Family dance parties are the best. But it was way fun and they played a few of my favorite songs. I loved it and i wish i could do that more often. I also wish my roommates would go with me. But after i got to go to Twizzle Berry with a girl i hung out with at the dance named Britney. She was fun to talk to, but to my mom. I told her about my no dating rule and she is well informed. So i am staying strong MOM. Anyways life is great and I am having a blast. Now i am by myself watching a movie and being very talented at multi tasking.
So random thought of the day is how great twizzle berry is. I got the sample cup and i might have set a record for the most amount of samples sucked from a sample cup. Also I love the middle lever, cuz you can mix the already magical flavors to become super flavors. I just wish there was a lever to mix all the flavors at once. And the one flavor i was weirded out by was the pumpkin flavor, just because it was frozen yogurt. And pumpkin flavored yogurt is a strange thought. Well peace out yo all.
As for tonight i went and watched psyche at Ashley's apartment with her and her roommates. After i went to guitars unplugged. I got there like an hour early and sat by myself like a loser and waited for my roommates to get there, and they didn't get there till like 10 till. But the show was good, and there were some really good songs. Brian our next door neighbor did a hilarious song about breaking up with a girl.
The dance however was the highlight for me. It has been a long time since i danced and i miss having the dance parties at home in haley's room or my room. Family dance parties are the best. But it was way fun and they played a few of my favorite songs. I loved it and i wish i could do that more often. I also wish my roommates would go with me. But after i got to go to Twizzle Berry with a girl i hung out with at the dance named Britney. She was fun to talk to, but to my mom. I told her about my no dating rule and she is well informed. So i am staying strong MOM. Anyways life is great and I am having a blast. Now i am by myself watching a movie and being very talented at multi tasking.
So random thought of the day is how great twizzle berry is. I got the sample cup and i might have set a record for the most amount of samples sucked from a sample cup. Also I love the middle lever, cuz you can mix the already magical flavors to become super flavors. I just wish there was a lever to mix all the flavors at once. And the one flavor i was weirded out by was the pumpkin flavor, just because it was frozen yogurt. And pumpkin flavored yogurt is a strange thought. Well peace out yo all.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Whoa (i just tried to spell the sound i made)
So I am here on my couch after just pounding down a pot of beans and rice. So i am all beefed up, and i am ready to do some Zumba tonight. I just hope that there is at least one other guy there. If it is just me and 30 girls i hope they wont mind if i hide in the back corner and dance or whatever you do there. I also am hoping to do some rowing so i can get cut. I need to work out after all those beans and otter pops.
I also had fun in my classes today and I didn't even dose off. We learned in my marriage prep class all kinds of fun things about marriage. And the cool nerd guy in the corner was hilarious today, and the genius guy actually commented a lot today. I then showed my teacher the paper i wrote for my english class and she wants to use it as an example, which is legit.
Other then that nothing spectacular has happened, but tonight is going to be interesting. And i keep seeing the squirrels here and they are so fat. On my way to the library this one squirrel waddled across the sidewalk, because it was too fat to run. I think it is the same squirrel that lives in a trashcan outside the science building. I thought about catching him, but people were watching and i had no moral support. I am going to try and catch a squirrel this semester, but i am waiting for the opportune moment. I also think that it would be awesome to set up a booth on campus telling people to not make the squirrels fat. I also think it would be funny to bread rabbits on the Rexburg campus. They would flourish here, and they would then compete with the squirrels over food. It would be like survival of the fittest. I bet the squirrels would win though.
Oh and my roommate Jacob i decided needs help. He has this fascination/addiction to flannel and plaid. I feel like i am living with a California lumberjack. And i am pretty sure he doesn't even own an ax. So either i have to convert him to other types of clothing or if i fail there i am going to buy him a hatchet for his birthday.
So i have to go now, because i have oreos given me by a great person and i am trying to type and i am distracted by their beautiful black and white colors.
Soooo peace! out!
I also had fun in my classes today and I didn't even dose off. We learned in my marriage prep class all kinds of fun things about marriage. And the cool nerd guy in the corner was hilarious today, and the genius guy actually commented a lot today. I then showed my teacher the paper i wrote for my english class and she wants to use it as an example, which is legit.
Other then that nothing spectacular has happened, but tonight is going to be interesting. And i keep seeing the squirrels here and they are so fat. On my way to the library this one squirrel waddled across the sidewalk, because it was too fat to run. I think it is the same squirrel that lives in a trashcan outside the science building. I thought about catching him, but people were watching and i had no moral support. I am going to try and catch a squirrel this semester, but i am waiting for the opportune moment. I also think that it would be awesome to set up a booth on campus telling people to not make the squirrels fat. I also think it would be funny to bread rabbits on the Rexburg campus. They would flourish here, and they would then compete with the squirrels over food. It would be like survival of the fittest. I bet the squirrels would win though.
Oh and my roommate Jacob i decided needs help. He has this fascination/addiction to flannel and plaid. I feel like i am living with a California lumberjack. And i am pretty sure he doesn't even own an ax. So either i have to convert him to other types of clothing or if i fail there i am going to buy him a hatchet for his birthday.
So i have to go now, because i have oreos given me by a great person and i am trying to type and i am distracted by their beautiful black and white colors.
Soooo peace! out!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
PPI
So today was another Sunday, and an interesting one at that. I went to my ward with Jonah Durst and Megan Buzzant. The sacrament meeting was hilarious. Our sacrament meeting talks were about protecting the environment, and how we should sign up for the hill Camorah pageant, because they need more young men to play as soldiers. It was uplifting totally. I don't even want to litter or pollute anymore. I have decided to now swallow my gum instead of spitting it on the ground. While he gave his message i kept thinking he was going to make some analogy with it. Tie it in somehow to repentance or something, but no. He just wanted us to not litter I guess. I also went to and FHE leader meeting today, because i mistook it for a Sunday school meeting. It was way weird.
So after church i went out to do PPIs, which are the funnest thing ever(sarcasm applied here). They are personal priesthood interviews, and they take forever. I spent an hour and a half interviewing three people. I did get to know those three people really well though, and i sacrificed a nap to do just that. So i opened my windows, because there is a scripture that says blessings come through open windows, and so i thought I thought I would help the process:-). I am just kidding though. And the window has a screen anyways and we are encourage to not take them out. I did take it out yesterday though, when I got locked out and I had to climb in through the small window to get in.
Another thing is that I told my mom that i was not going to date till the next fall semester. She doubted me and wanted it in writing and so here it is. So if i break our "contract" before next fall, I have to make dinner for the family, for a whole week straight. And if i make it, then my mom will pay for me to eat out somewhere cool. So no there is motive and desire. So starting today, I am not allowed to go on more then 3 dates with any girl until next fall semester. So i guess since i wont be dating i will just have to make friends with everyone on campus.
So that tops todays fun till now, but I am going to a girls birthday part tonight and that will be fun. I also might go stadium singing if i get bored. ok lazers
peace
So after church i went out to do PPIs, which are the funnest thing ever(sarcasm applied here). They are personal priesthood interviews, and they take forever. I spent an hour and a half interviewing three people. I did get to know those three people really well though, and i sacrificed a nap to do just that. So i opened my windows, because there is a scripture that says blessings come through open windows, and so i thought I thought I would help the process:-). I am just kidding though. And the window has a screen anyways and we are encourage to not take them out. I did take it out yesterday though, when I got locked out and I had to climb in through the small window to get in.
Another thing is that I told my mom that i was not going to date till the next fall semester. She doubted me and wanted it in writing and so here it is. So if i break our "contract" before next fall, I have to make dinner for the family, for a whole week straight. And if i make it, then my mom will pay for me to eat out somewhere cool. So no there is motive and desire. So starting today, I am not allowed to go on more then 3 dates with any girl until next fall semester. So i guess since i wont be dating i will just have to make friends with everyone on campus.
So that tops todays fun till now, but I am going to a girls birthday part tonight and that will be fun. I also might go stadium singing if i get bored. ok lazers
peace
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The block game
So i was thinking about that game really tiny kids play, where you try to put different shaped pieces into different shaped holes. I feel like i am still playing this game. It is frustrating to be so far from perfect. It is hard when you feel like you are doing you best and giving something your all, and yet you still manage to hurt everyone you love and care about. Do you ever get past causing people pain. I just feel like this semester i have been trying to put my piece in the right box, but i can't find where to put it. I want to find my niche. I want to be where i belong, where i can only hurt myself and no one else.
I have decided to not date anyone for at least another year. For one i don't think i am strong enough nor mature enough to date, and also I am tired of hurting people I come to care about. I am hoping that if I am just friends with everyone, and not get romantically attached then my piece will finally go in. I would say my greatest enemy in life is the man inside me. I hate no one else, but the natural man.
So I have been trying hard to keep my mind busy, because I don't give good company to myself. My thoughts found in the idle moments just condemn me to say, "oh what a wretched man is this." But i guess Nephi felt this way too, so I don't have to feel alone. I am pretty happy though. I played bball this morning and it turned out to be a way good game. Ashely my old fhe sister and britney a girl from my class came with, and they did awesome. As for yesterday Craig was a stud, because he went with me to meet people. We probably met and became friends with some 20 new people last night. We just went around and met random strangers. We took my shocker thing and we shocked so many people and we convinced many people that it was for a class. It really was just to break the ice. I met a really cool guy from bunkhouse, who served in Brazil and we are going to become brothers soon. Also we got a pizza and watched the mighty ducks. I am lucky to have amazing roommates who are always there for me. Jacob is sick right now with some stuff, and it is probably because he has been staying up late to comfort me and just listen.
Also i have a new philosophy about friendships. So i decided that friendship isn't a reservoir, but a river. I used to think that i could do a ton for someone, and that it would last for a long time. I thought i could fill up the reservoir with listening, kindness, and any real action of care. However I have decided that friendship is a river. Everyday it needs to have water in it or what is underneath the water and on the banks will die from lack of water. I have come to see that what happened in the past is put into a folder in the mind, and that it isn't always in front of you to see everything that someone has done for you. So i guess friendships are built on smaller building blocks. I guess each day you have to make sure the water level doesn't drop. I have been bad about being there for people at certain times, and then slacking off and letting things drop and weaken. I am far from perfect, but I know God will help me be a better friend starting now.
I feel so greatfull for the great friends, example, and people in my life. Each person i meet teaches me how far i still have to travel to be perfect. I am greatful to people who have been there for me in the hard times, and in the easy times. This semester has taught me a lot and i am glad I went through it all. Haley was a good friend to me, and helped me see those areas in my life that need attention. She really helped me and she was super patient. Also my family has been so faithful in being there for me.
So i have wrote a ton already, so i will end with saying that today is going to be a good day and i am going to stand a little taller.
peace
I have decided to not date anyone for at least another year. For one i don't think i am strong enough nor mature enough to date, and also I am tired of hurting people I come to care about. I am hoping that if I am just friends with everyone, and not get romantically attached then my piece will finally go in. I would say my greatest enemy in life is the man inside me. I hate no one else, but the natural man.
So I have been trying hard to keep my mind busy, because I don't give good company to myself. My thoughts found in the idle moments just condemn me to say, "oh what a wretched man is this." But i guess Nephi felt this way too, so I don't have to feel alone. I am pretty happy though. I played bball this morning and it turned out to be a way good game. Ashely my old fhe sister and britney a girl from my class came with, and they did awesome. As for yesterday Craig was a stud, because he went with me to meet people. We probably met and became friends with some 20 new people last night. We just went around and met random strangers. We took my shocker thing and we shocked so many people and we convinced many people that it was for a class. It really was just to break the ice. I met a really cool guy from bunkhouse, who served in Brazil and we are going to become brothers soon. Also we got a pizza and watched the mighty ducks. I am lucky to have amazing roommates who are always there for me. Jacob is sick right now with some stuff, and it is probably because he has been staying up late to comfort me and just listen.
Also i have a new philosophy about friendships. So i decided that friendship isn't a reservoir, but a river. I used to think that i could do a ton for someone, and that it would last for a long time. I thought i could fill up the reservoir with listening, kindness, and any real action of care. However I have decided that friendship is a river. Everyday it needs to have water in it or what is underneath the water and on the banks will die from lack of water. I have come to see that what happened in the past is put into a folder in the mind, and that it isn't always in front of you to see everything that someone has done for you. So i guess friendships are built on smaller building blocks. I guess each day you have to make sure the water level doesn't drop. I have been bad about being there for people at certain times, and then slacking off and letting things drop and weaken. I am far from perfect, but I know God will help me be a better friend starting now.
I feel so greatfull for the great friends, example, and people in my life. Each person i meet teaches me how far i still have to travel to be perfect. I am greatful to people who have been there for me in the hard times, and in the easy times. This semester has taught me a lot and i am glad I went through it all. Haley was a good friend to me, and helped me see those areas in my life that need attention. She really helped me and she was super patient. Also my family has been so faithful in being there for me.
So i have wrote a ton already, so i will end with saying that today is going to be a good day and i am going to stand a little taller.
peace
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Saturday + homework= a fiery pit of despair
So I decided that hell is just a library, with bay windows. So we are locked inside and have to be miserable, while you look outside and see all the people having fun in the sun. I am not depressed however, because i am messing around now in the library and the internet is really good for watching hulu and youtube as well as downloading cool songs to bounce to if you ever get refocused again. I am not in the mood for homework though, because it is almost 6. I thought about walking home, and not getting a ride, but i have my chem book so i decided to be non-productive instead. We did however play basketball this morning and it was way fun. I left my hops at home though and there was this kid who kept dunking it during the game and he was only 5'11" and at make 6' tall. I was annoyed, but my hair looked better then his so i can't complain. It is a good hair day today. I don't actually know how this is possible since my hair is only a cm long if that, but you just feel it sometimes. Also i have no acne right now which always floats my self-esteem boat. Anyways i am getting in good shape. I guess getting in good shape is a by-product of a breakup reaction. Now that is chemistry, but not really.
New paragraph. I guess. I don't get paragraphs i still just use them when i feel like i am bored of talking about one thing and want to talk about another thing, or if i pause long enough in thinking about what to say.
So last night we watched "old dogs" with our fhe sisters past and present. They are all so great. When I was sad about Haley they made me cookies for me "Cookie" which is a thing i may never live down. wanna see?
So these are my heart cookies and a cute note and my smile, because they cheered me up for a while. Also in the upper left corner you can see a girl in a picture. I made her a modest shirt that she still has on today. It says i am converting to Mormonism on it. I made it out of paper to cover her bathing suit. Also bathing is not spelled the same way you say it. Thank goodness for spell checker buttons. So that is that. Tonights agenda holds meeting new people. I am going to take my gym pro out and shock people for fun and make them flex by sending surges of electricity through their body. I also am going to eat my heart cookies:)
ok peace out!
New paragraph. I guess. I don't get paragraphs i still just use them when i feel like i am bored of talking about one thing and want to talk about another thing, or if i pause long enough in thinking about what to say.
So last night we watched "old dogs" with our fhe sisters past and present. They are all so great. When I was sad about Haley they made me cookies for me "Cookie" which is a thing i may never live down. wanna see?
ok peace out!
Friday, October 8, 2010
The day after the disaster
So Haley broke things off after just a month. She said i can still keep a finger in the book, but it is hard to do. Either i go on with life with one hand or i pull my finger out, drop the book, and go play Frisbee. It is rainy today so obviously the heavens are crying with me. Actually i am optimistic today and i am moving on. I am going to go meet new people today. Go knock on doors and shock girls. I do miss my girl though, cuz she was really special. Any how i took Tylenol pm and i slept like i rock all the way through the night and through my first class. I did go to class, but my arms made for a nice pillow. Then chemistry we blew stuff up, but not enough. I wish i could buy random chemicals to blow stuff up in my free time. We got out early and i went home and made muffins. I gave them to Haley's apt. because i promised them some a while back, and now i owe them nothing more. I have kept my word to the T. After i went and rowed 3000 meters in the gym. Then rode a bike that doesn't move just like my boat. So once i got all massive i went home and now i am here at home writing my random events of the day. I am just kinda bored now and i wish i could find something really exciting to do and to have fun in Rexburg you have to be creative. And the only creativeness i have right now is when playing with my food. I can make a dog sculpture out of 1slice of bread. Also i will share my goals. I am not going to nibble on my fingernails anymore. I wonder if i was more flexible if i would chew my toenails too. Then i am brushing my teeth after every time i eat. That is about it for now. Oh and i decided what i am going to be for halloween. I am going to be white! I will post the picture later. I was going to be a giant cracker, but i can't figure out how to do it. So i am going to be white, which shouldn't be too hard. :-)\
peace out yo
peace out yo
Thursday, October 7, 2010
My feelings
So these last few days have been tough for me. I almost haven't stopped praying for two days straight. I have never been so strongly tested in my whole life it seems. My heart feels like it is in a vice and my stomach has been sick.
There have been moments in my life, where i get stuck and i feel like i am not growing. This is not one of those times. There are moments before major life changing events in our lives, where Satan gets the attention of his army and they all shoot at you. I feel like i am finally making the changes in my life that will change who i am forever. I feel like Satan is trying so hard to stop me. If I make it through this i know i will really be happy, because i am trying to do what God wants me to do. I have felt powerful assurances that he is there, but then he leaves again to let me face this trial. I have never prayed so much, and i feel like I am relying on the Lord for everything, because i feel hopeless. I feel bad for having leaned and brought down so many people i care about. I know that Haley has been really patient with me, but she hasn't known me long enough to know that this isn't me. My spirits are lifting thinking about when Sunday will come, because all of us live dark Fridays. I guess we are expected to spend a few moment in Gethsemane and a few moments at calvary to understand the atonement. Last night was really hard. I remember praying for strength, and a feeling came that said, "my angels are around you and will bear you up". I now know that angels are real, that God sends help. My sisters, Haley, My roommates, my friends, haley's roommates and my mom have all been angels to me these last few days. And the small things they have done, have meant more to me then they will ever know. Each gave advice that helped me in some way. Each did something to lift my eyes a little higher.
Trials are never easy, but i am greatful that i have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and his helping me get through this. I also know that priesthood blessings are the hand of the Lord working miracles in our lives.
I am so greatful for all that i have. I don't deserve this much. I am also excited for what sunday holds for me.
There have been moments in my life, where i get stuck and i feel like i am not growing. This is not one of those times. There are moments before major life changing events in our lives, where Satan gets the attention of his army and they all shoot at you. I feel like i am finally making the changes in my life that will change who i am forever. I feel like Satan is trying so hard to stop me. If I make it through this i know i will really be happy, because i am trying to do what God wants me to do. I have felt powerful assurances that he is there, but then he leaves again to let me face this trial. I have never prayed so much, and i feel like I am relying on the Lord for everything, because i feel hopeless. I feel bad for having leaned and brought down so many people i care about. I know that Haley has been really patient with me, but she hasn't known me long enough to know that this isn't me. My spirits are lifting thinking about when Sunday will come, because all of us live dark Fridays. I guess we are expected to spend a few moment in Gethsemane and a few moments at calvary to understand the atonement. Last night was really hard. I remember praying for strength, and a feeling came that said, "my angels are around you and will bear you up". I now know that angels are real, that God sends help. My sisters, Haley, My roommates, my friends, haley's roommates and my mom have all been angels to me these last few days. And the small things they have done, have meant more to me then they will ever know. Each gave advice that helped me in some way. Each did something to lift my eyes a little higher.
Trials are never easy, but i am greatful that i have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and his helping me get through this. I also know that priesthood blessings are the hand of the Lord working miracles in our lives.
I am so greatful for all that i have. I don't deserve this much. I am also excited for what sunday holds for me.
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