My tummy feels fummy!

So today is Sunday but this could last into Monday if I ramble for 13 min, which is achievable unless for some reason i get bit by a paralysis spider and then i could take this into 2012 or a piece of ceiling could fall onto the tab and then enter key. I was boring today though and so no cool "baby saving from getting hit by a train" stories or anything. I did get angry last night or passionate sounds better. I was passionate last night because i got invited to a party for a friend, but i could only come if i brought a 12 pack. So ticked off i went to the store and looked for the worst pop i could find. So I found some Mexican apple soda and i thought "this sounds terrible, and so i will try bring it in spite." So i show up and this one kid sees me bringing in the pop and says, "i love that soda. where did you get it." My plan failed immediately and after trying it i decided it could be my favorite pop. Everyone downed the box fast and i sat in utter sadness as my plan failed. I guess Mexican pop is good after all. It actually tastes like green apples and what i found humorous is that it tastes more like apple juice then apple juice does. So it is called manzanita if you are interested in my bitter sweet pop favorite. So enjoy the sun apples!
Well i am going to drink one since my sister hid some and snuck them home for us. I am proud of her since now sun apples are flowing majestically down my esophagus. Take that party people. Good night beautiful peoples. Spread your wings and join me in the sky of sugary dreams this "splenda" night. (Hint: there was a punn). Buenas Noites.

T-pain is the shiz!!

Shiz means cool, which means T-pain is cool, which means I am cool. I pity the fool who messes with this guy.
I was proud of that for a reason that doesn't make logical sense and so it is not worth sharing. However the picture then would have also been not worth showing, and so i will share what is not worth sharing, which means that it is then worth sharing because i am. So i have to say instead it is worthless, but i am sharing it. I shaved my head like Mr. T to be cool, which is ironic because it didn't do that. Instead i had girls and guys looking at me funny, and judging be for being white but trying to be black, and for adding on my white trashiness by writing one my hands. Also every time i wanted to get across that I was Mr. T from the A-team I felt like i needed to say the words as i pretended to punch them. This leads to the problem of "the" being left out. So i felt like i needed a shirt that only said "the" on it to complete things but i don't and so alas I cut my mo-hawk off. This was the worthless thing that was not worth sharing, but was.
While I am talking about nothing, my Wisconsin shirt has a funny story behind it. Actually it is not funny. Actually i just don't want to get your hopes up for something that i find funny that you may not. So my roommate one day was chaffing (just wanted to use this word) me about how Americans don't know all the states. So he said he would give me and my buddy $5 for the first person to write all 50. So we began and i realized i forgot that dumb song that is suppose to help you remember the states. I knew i was in trouble. I worked hard though and we came down to the close of our time and I had 49 of the 50, but couldn't remember the last one. My buddy was in the same shoes. So i joked saying wouldn't that be funny if I forgot Colorado or something since i am from there. We laughed. We both lost, because we were both missing one. Turns out he forgot Colorado, which we joked about, and i forgot Wisconsin. So I joked after saying i would punch the next person i saw from Wisconsin. Next semester met two girls from there and I gave them hugs and not punches. Then i bought this shirt so that i would never forget that state again. I am $5 poorer now because that state exists.
Well i will leave this foodless, and animal less to mix things up so that people can't say "oh did you read that blog about animals and food?" So in case i don't see ya "good afternoon, good evening, and buenas noite."

Shout out to my viewers!

Rex kicking Kips white trash

So today my mom was showing me how to use my blog more, which was weird because she is my mother. She is expert, like Rex Kwon Do is at self-defense (a Napoleon Dynamite reference). She is blogging about her love, i.e. my dad. I on the other hand is blogging about my love of self, food, and animals. So i figured since this hunk of amazingness, myself, who has now had a realization of conceitedness decided to give a shout out to the people who read this. I found it crazy to find out that over 900 people had read my blog. I want to give a shout out to the Slovenian, Korean, German, and my other foreign readers. Props to you for translating or trying to translate my broken, sometimes slanged out stories and ramblings. So yay to you all, and feel free to pat yourself on the back, or on the shoulder if you are not that flexible.
     So question, why is it the more muscular you get the less flexible you get. Like the mister Olympia who squats like 800 pounds and benches like 400, and is ridiculously huge probably has trouble showering. I am slightly huge and i have trouble washing my back. I get creative trying to wash that small point in the middle of my back. I want to create the bear tree, and no stealing my idea unless you give me credit when you tell your friends. It is a mat that looks like a trunk of a tree and sticks to the shower wall. Then you can put soap on it and then wash your back using it and it will message as well. It will be like the jungle book when the bear that is blue rubs his back against the tree.

     Like so:-). I also find it interesting how if you Google "bear scratching back on tree" how many images there are of bears scratching their backs. I looked for pictures of other animals scratching their backs on trees and i was unsuccessful. I guess only bears do it. I figure this is because bears are so strong and muscular that they can't reach their own backs to scratch them. This also means that if they were in a shower, then they wouldn't be able to wash their backs, which means they could use my bear tree is well. So i will market my idea to bears and to homo-sapiens. I will most likely sell my product in stores next to the protein powder.
     I just realized how that went full circle and also how i talked about animals even though i didn't plan on it. You would think i was a "vet," as in veterinarian or something, not as in a war guy. So that mean i still need to talk about myself and food still to be complete. Soooooo Cinnamon Toast Crunch is what i ate for breakfast like 15.56 minutes ago and i decided that if you just keep eating bowl after bowl with the same milk, you end up drinking pure cinnamon an sugar by the end, because it all sinks to the bottom of your bowl.
    So me now! I am a bear and food fan. Also i went to my first NBA game last night for the Nuggets and i almost lost my voice. I yelled so loud and wore this tight jersey that my friend Luke gave me in like 7th grade. It fits a little tighter now and it is good it is stretchy, because I like those most. They won and it was sssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccckkkkkkkk!!! I took pictures and i will try and put them up later. Well i need to go and shape my eyebrows and pimp my hair. I will be better about writing now that i know Chinese people read this, because I would love to culture them on bears and American, Caucasian, suburban, Mormon, ness I guess. So as Spock would say "Live long and prosper" and peace out.

5 Times the Charm

    So i figure i should write about breaking my collar bone since it is a more major event of my life, and since i usually just write about food i like or other worthless tids and bits. So I figure it would be good to write about this significant event. In order to give it validity, I want to talk about the other four times first.
     So first collar bone break was when i was but a pup and i fell down the stairs and broke it. So i don't remember this time, but i like to believe i was trying something cooler like a front flip or stair grinding, or some other really cool thing, and not just a clumsy act.
     The second i must say i actually remember. It was the soccer party after one of our seasons, and my dad was the coach then. I was playing against teammates and my brother Adam. Adam ran past me and clipped my shoulder with his shoulder. And although it didn't feel like he did it hard, it just snapped like a twig on a knee. This break was my worst i think. I remember almost throwing up at the doctors office because of pain. The doctor had me doing all the movements that would cause me pain. Like here do a throwing motion, and here  punch this, and here swing this over your head. Lets just say that, I disliked him then and i am not in his fan club now.
     Now the Third time was Skiing. I was doing moguls and cam around one and slammed into it with my should and just like Rice Crispies it went snap, crackle, pop. Then i got to ride the sled down which would be fun if you were not in pain. Just my opinion anyways.
    So the Fourth break is embarrassing. I usually just tell people it was playing soccer since it happened at soccer practice. I was in line for doing drills and someone said you couldn't do a flip on normal ground. I disagreed. So i tried just jumping in place and doing a front flip. I didn't land on my head, because i did it crooked and landed with more weight on my shoulder. SNAP. "Ah snap" is what i wish i said when i broke it. So i broke it doing dumb things. And my dad was there for all those i think, except my fifth and present.
     My 5th and current happened at Grand Targhee, third run 12th hour, 35th min. So I made up the time, because frankly time doesn't matter when one is broken. So i was going down a run called waterfall, which makes this sound like an intense place to break yourself, but in reality it wasn't all that cool. I was darting into the run. When i shot in i came off a small lip hard twisting my body in the air like a pro, because it is a trick. I landed off balance and i was unable to compose myself before hitting the second lip that threw me. I rotated so i would miss a tree, but i landed beside the tree on my shoulder. Snap it went. Immediately i started yelling, "it is broke" and "I broke it." I just kept repeating this because the pain made me uncatchy to say some funny or catchy or punny line. So no witty things. My friends were yelling to me, asking me if I wanted them to get the ski patrol. After repeating those 2 broken phrases lots of times, I finally said yes. Syd took off and Steve stayed with me. He tried to get me to sit still, but my butt was getting cold and I wanted to stand up. I then told him i wanted to ski down and he helped me get my stuff on. I then skied down holding my arm almost as if it was my amputated arm and as if it was a overfilled water balloon that i didn't want to pop. I got down and took my skis off and then i was really light headed and i was trying to find a table to lay down outside, but then i saw a lawn chair and i went to sit down there. I met up with my friends then, and I then i was made to go to the clinic and get checked out. The rest is a story for another day cuz i have to eat breakfast cuz i am hungry as a hungry horse would be.
Peace OUT.

Tummy Aches

So i have aches in my tummy, and i thought it was from eating too much, but nope i was wrong. Then I thought i had heart burn for the first time, but my roommate told me that heart burn has to be in your heart region and can't be in my stomach. So an ulcer is the only idea remaining that has yet to be proven wrong. So i will run with it since it sounds a lot more hardcore then a tummy ache, that 3 year old kinds wine about.
Anyways with my tummy ache i went and worked out and i regretted that. We did awkward exercises that squished my stomach and did weird things that made my ulcer act up. I also saw lots of my good friends like, Tuscany 321, and Ben Vinton and wife, Baxter, and others. Then we left and i spent the last hour of the month home teaching. I postponed it till the last hour, but really i would have 2 more days, but February went short and me and had to make things difficult.
So now to recap my crazy weekend. I bleached my hair blond for one. We ran out of bleach though, so I looked kinda funny. Actually it is still the same so that should be present tense and say that i look funny. I like the attention though. It is fun having everyone notice my hair and make comments like, "what happened?", and "why did you do that?" Not the best questions to be asked, but i do like everyone looking at me. It makes me feel like the super model that i never was.
I bleached my hair to complete my outfit for pond skimming. Pond skimming is where you go down a hill on skis and try and ski across a pool. Most the school comes, and it turns into a huge event. So i signed up and i dressed up like a nuggets bball player in really small tight pants. I was quite the cuttie. So it was freezing, and even more so when i took off my jacket and just had my few tight clothes on. But my time came, and i stood at the top of the hill looking at everyone from school surrounding the pool in great masses. So i clipped on my skis and took off, showing my coolness to everyone. I got to the water and jumped doing a spread eagle and landed in the pool, skimming across the top for a bit and then sinking. I made quite a splash(figurative), then i sunk into the coldest water ever. I have never been in water so cold in my life. But i got out and said something dumb in the microphone, and then went to the warming tent. The tent was full, so i waited in the cold, wet and freezing till i finally got in. I did all this with Dallon my roommate and it was a blast. I can't wait to do it again next year.
So after the skim, we went home to where we were having a jello party. I had spent most the day making jell-o, and we had only a few people out of the 120 that we invited. It was a blast though and we had jello slurping contests, and we danced afterward till curfew. It was amazing and I love it here. That is all.
peace out.

Midterms blow like the wind in Rexburg

So just to clarify. The wind blows hard here and if you put that in my midterm equation as a constant variable, then you know what i am not a fan of, and how much i am not a fan of it. I just took an exam for a class that i studied my but off literally, but not. But i did study super hard, just my butt is still there is what i am saying. Anyways i got an 82% on the test, and the weird part is that I am super content and happy with that. I actually think it will be one of the best grades in the class as sad as that is. Anyways life feels good right now.
Sports are interesting as i am in 6 different intermurral sports: volleyball, basketball, battleship, futsol which is indoor soccer, and dodge ball. But really my teams are all doing good. Vollyball we are getting better and we almost beat the second place team. Basketball, we have won most of our games and our last game the pity rule came into effect, because we were beating them by thirty points. Battleship, we have found the secret to staying affloat, and we didn't get sunk this last week in all three rounds. Futsol, I was named MVP by my team for scoring two of our four goals this last week, and assisting the others. And dodge ball we are undefeated due to the fact that it starts late and we haven't had a game yet. All i can say is that i am getting super humble from all this winning and awesomeness that i have been throwing down. Ok I am actually struggling. It is fun though.
Anyways not dating, nor have i gone on a date this semester. I am hot so i can't figure out why i am not getting asked out more, but what ever:-). Also i have a really cute black girl that i want to take on a date, and she is from england and has a cool accent. So what is cooler then that. That is like two great things in the same present. But in all reality i probably will just wink at her and say hi, and never actually go to the work of asking her out, due to lazyness and shyness and other yness-es. Anyways i am going home now to my cornbread and ramen so be jealous and peace out.

Bam and procrastination won.

So i am putting off homework. Not a new thing really. I just chose to blog in that time block of worthlessness. I don't really have much to say though. I guess i could mention my interesting day. So i met a girl who has an unknown ethnicity. I asked her if she was born in the US and she said of course and asked me why i thought she hadn't been. It was an awkward moment. Sooo i asked her on a date for tomorrow and we will see how it goes. She is gorgeous and is really witty and doesn't take my crap. She also handles awkward moments well, which happens a lot with me. She also is 24 and a return missionary. Things are looking pretty awesome, and i am super excited. Only problem is after the weird moment, which was oddly fun her ex-boyfriend got brought up. Come to find out i asked for her number the same day she broke up with him. I am hoping that is good timing. She also gets asked out a ton, which means there is competition so i am going to use my "A" game on the date.
"A" game is different for every guy probably. Mine includes a shirt that shows off my biceps and creates the illusion that I have muscles. I will wear faded pants to show i am classy. I usually will listen to some comedy before the date, because i feel funnier after that stuff. I will wear my best cologne, which is actually a decision in the moment and is left up to my mixing skills. I make sure to eat a breakfast of champions, which will be cinnamon Life cereal. I will eat candy to be sweet, and smarties to be smart. I will do a sudoku to be analytical and see clearly. I plan on chewing mango gum and being well hydrated. Also i will not eat lots of fiber, because that is never a good idea before a date. That about sums up my "A" game. Then there is"B" game and the others, but really it is a sad day if i don't have my good game on. Can't get a bad grade like a "C" on game. Average is sad and then you don't get to date really great girls.
Well back to homework, and watching Rocky on TV, which is a classic and i don't know why. It can't be famous for the acting, cuz that isn't great and the fighting is sad too. I really feel like Mr. T is what makes Rocky Rocky. The theme song is good too though. I feel like running with gloves on every time i hear it, and randomly punching the air. He also wears old school all-stars which is another selling point. So there are some awesome parts. Well i am going to go punch some frozen meat. Peace out homies.