I am easily amused!!!

I want to write a quick blog post so my humble and dedicated followers will not lose hope. I have no clue what to write about. So waiting for inspiration.... BAM!!!
I am cool. What is interesting about this is that weird and strange people can be normal. Because instead of being rejected by society they accept me. I for example love pop rocks and bubble rap. It is weird, but since other people share the same passions it is cool. Just popping sounds are cool. Fireworks is another popping thing that the world loves, but it is weird that we enjoy the sound so much.
Also throwing things off cliffs and big ledges. I get to the top of a cliff or something and I immediately get the erg to throw something off. I can't even say how many times i have thrown rocks off cliffs. And the higher the better. At the Grand Canyon I loved throwing rocks off and i didn't even think of the people i could possibly hit hiking in the bottom. So i wont go hiking there. We used to go to a dam when i was younger and we would spit off and watch our spit fall and that was fun. And i even almost got kicked out of a Rockie's game for throwing stuff like trash over the railing. So why do simple things entertain us the most. I love bouncy balls still and i never get bored with them.
On the flip side with complicated things like those learned in school, i often get bored. We might be studying valence electrons and i will fall asleep in minutes, but as soon as he sticks a balloon in liquid nitrogen I am awake and excited to see a balloon deflate.
Why?

and How am i so easily amused and weird and still society accepts me?
So i am cool but along with all other easily amused people, but i think that is what makes life fun and worth living. So I am going to blow off all the dandy lion tops in my lawn and maybe eat some flowers and throw some rocks and call my day complete and happy.
Love you my minions!!! live long and prosper and "peace out".

Crap I have a story i want to tell quick. I was camping and we found a sandy will with lots of big boulders on it and a creek in the bottom. So we decided it would be "fun" to roll rocks down into the river to dam it up. Which damming up rivers and gutters in front of your house is fun. I envy beavers and i would be happy to be one if reincarnation was real. But chewing on wood all day would be lame and so would having huge teeth. But anyways was on the downhill side of a boulder and pulling on it which was not smart and i rolled it over my hand and crushed it, leaving my hand a bloody mess. I still have a small scar from it. So when easily amusing yourselves with dumb things be smart about it. Ironically funny but realistically true.
And i just discovered that they sell dandelion seeds on-line. What?

To Woo and be Swave

So i am blogging. Which is just a shortened way of saying,"being wordy about different things online". But I have been busy and have neglected magical moments. Like when my brother power-washed me and how my belly button was clean as a whistle (STOP: clean as a whistle is a dumb phrase, because they are not clean. They get spit in and lipstick on them). So it was actually cleaner then a whistle unless it was just purchased and hadn't been tested out in the store by some unsupervised child.
I also am working at Uhaul and i am finding cool things again. We found one of the Harry Potter picture frames, which is one of those digital picture frames where the pictures change. I plan on finding lots of cool things. Last summer i found a stop sign and that is ranked up there on coolest finds.

Then today i went to water world and did some sliding and stuff. It was epic and they were selling dippin dots. They are good, but we agreed that their slogan is now outdated. They are no longer the icecream of the future. Maybe their prices are inflated to a very future date, but they are now old and obviously the icecream companies like Dryers feel that normal icecream is still the future icecream. Little flavored hail balls shouldn't be considered the future anyways. I want more for less in the future and not less for more.

A knight with an axe and face paint

Wow i am already tired of typing and there is a pretty girl that I need to take on a date tonight. I have my woooer ready to wooo her. The sound unfortunately doesn't get the job done, but not making a woo sound is still considered as wooing. I also am bringing a broom to sweep her off her feet and she is light and so carrying her is not a problem. I will be her knight in armor. It may not be shiny because i usually shop at goodwill and new armor would be pricey.
Here is my game plan. First eat Wheaties, because it makes you good at things. Next call her and tell her that her wildest dreams will come true if she goes out with you. They get her some weird thing like chalk and then tell her that is her wildest dream coming true since that would be a wild dream to get chalk from a guy. Then i will take her to a mildly romantic setting where she isn't creeped out but senses swaveness in me. Then make sure to go to the bathroom when a creepy guy is near so I can return and rescue. Also I will find ways to point at things, because this is a chance to show off my muscles of iron. Put on my swagger deodorant, because it smells good and is supposed to have the same affects as Wheaties but on a flirting level. Then I will drop her off before her curfew so she can be happy. Then i will get my beauty sleep to rinse and repeat.
This is my copywrited plan of action. Can't say it has ever worked, but there is a first time for everything, just like there is for playing with fireworks and not vandalizing something on accident.
I miss you all. Sincerely, yours truly,
Your HIGHness

Fire! A friend and foe for life!

So this weekend was interesting. I was super excited for it, but some curve balls were thrown and i swung to hit them even though they would have been balls, and connected with some, but I also got strikes. That is a wordy way of saying some good and bad things happened.
So we had on Friday night I went to high-school grad parties and crashed them with my brother. The treats and junk food was great and I even won all the boys at croquet.That game with the mallets and you hit the ball on the grass under these rings. When anyone won we played where they became a destroyer ball and they could play to frustrate and slam away other peoples balls.
I went to a stake cook-off done by the men in the church. I was cooking my first stake and accidentally dumped a bunch of cyan-pepper all over it. It turned out to be a very hot and mouth burning stake. It put my stake somewhere near last place. I made 3 more stakes after that and i improved with each. I ate 4 in all.
Then these two brothers decided to have a taco night after that of which I felt inclined to join. I ate more meat there and ate a taco out of a cup. Cups are the new bowls if you haven't heard.
Then there was this dance party. It was pretty off the hook, but after that much junk food and meat it started to act funny. After dancing like a crazy robot caveman for a good amount of time and dancing with all my gusto, the meat went on strike in my tummy. I kept sitting down to rest, but then people would talk me into dancing again. It got bad though and I had to hide in the theater room and lay down. I went home after that and I was on the edge of emptying my stomach onto the carpet in my room.
I woke up for church the next morning to find someone had jacked my gps and they stole a cable from my brothers car. Both of us were robbed in the hood which we live. Dang gangsters who steel from homies like that.
After a beautiful time at church i went to my good homies house for burgers. The end.
JK it isn't. So memorial day starts off tiring after a late night on the west side. I go to this breakfast thing and throw a little disc here and there, but excitement was about to strike.

The burning bush (get it?) :-)

I got home and took a nap and woke up in a mood to clean my room. It was then I looked out the window for no reason and was surprised to find the sprinklers on. Idk why, because we have them on a timer and so it  is anything but surprising in reality. I looked closer and saw a cloud of something white coming from our front bush. I thought at first a pipe had broken to the sprinklers. I ran downstairs and as i opened the front door a blanket of smoke hit me in the face. I looked and realized our bush was on fire. So a panic set in and i ran around the bush to get the hose. I wiped out hard in the wet grass, but was able to get up fast and put out the fire with the hose. I soaked that bush for like 20 min so that nothing could start up again. It was that moment that i realized i had a fireman inside me.

Turns out my neighbors friends were trying to hit the kids car with a roman candle and missed firing it into our bush. They were inside when i was out there getting buckets for water. The dad made them all kneel at my feet and apologize. They didn't kiss my feet, but i forgave them, because of two other occasions.
First in a firework mishap in Wyoming, where i was lit on fire by an illegal that flipped on its side and shot the rockets at me. I was sitting on the ground with my back to the car when it flipped towards us. I couldn't get out of the way. I remember seeing this glowing green thing in front of me. The words "oh suck" came to mind before it exploded. Someone cool put my arm out, but i still have a scar from it.
The second was a valentines day where my parents left on a date. We were given a meal to eat that was all red. We had candles and after we ate I started playing with them. I was burning paper doilies. Then i dropped one on our new table cloth which turned out to be very flammable. Our table cloth went up in flames and started to lick the ceiling. My sister was quick with her skills and put it out with water from the sink. It was fun explaining that one to my parents. We don't use candles much now. And i have had a bad reputation with fire since, but the recent bush event will help to erase my doily deed.
Sorry that was so long. I haven't been able to write in a while. My next blog will be back to the random thoughts.

peace out to all and to all a great day?

A sugar BABY at heart.

So i usually have no clue about what i want to write about. I just sit here waiting for inspiration. But that is the wrong word because food and squirrels and how I am attracted to girls of black ethnicity arn't the most inspirational topics. Inspirational thoughts for me are like how "pop rocks" have the ability to make every moment in life better.
So Candy is my momentary topic. So my whole family loves candy I think. My mom got us addicted from an early age. I believe it started with her eating candy while pregnant and the candy flavors had their effect. Some babies are alcohol babies, while i was a sugar-baby. I am currently a sugar adult and I hope to become a sugar-daddy one day. But if i got diabetes that would be horrible. I doubt i will get it due to my hyper-tolerance of sugar. One could maybe view me as having the opposite of diabetes due to my need for sugar in order to live. By live i mean not crash, and by crash i mean have energy to go on.
When my sugar reservoir is depleted and i am running dry, I often fall asleep. I think in high school I would fall asleep in ever class for at least a few min. Teachers would make me sit in the front, but that didn't help. I needed candy, and only diabetics can eat in class. I need to be diagnosed so i can eat in class. Or i might go find a sketchy person that writes bad like a doctor and have him write a permission note.
Anyways. I was born and i probably slept a lot till i could start drinking capri suns and juice boxes. Which some are like liquid candy.
Later my mom would bribe us with candy to do stuff. "Go to the store with me and i will let you get candy", "when you finish your homework you can have candy", "It is raining out so we can have candy", "If you brush your teeth good you can have candy". The list is big. I always liked the days when we got candy just for being her kids, or because we found her secret stash. She would divide the candy evenly among all her children. If there was a skittle left she would get out the knife and attempt to cut it into 8 pieces for each of us. Even the colors were divided even so that I wouldn't get mad because my brother got more banana runts then me.
So my addiction is not selective but embraces lovingly all from the sugar class or from that beautiful point on the food pyramid. If I chilled in Egypt i would just sit on the points and eat from the sugar triangle.
Oh and why is it called a food pyramid. It is clearly a 2D shape and geometry has to be ticked off at that. It is the food triangle and dietitians need to get that right.

Anyways some weird candies are Droplets. That isn't their real name, but they are sugar drops that are pasted on a wax paper sheet. Bottle caps have bettered my life in every way. I don't know yet why soda companies haven't started making their caps edible and amazing. Then there are those pop candies that have juice inside their wax. I think i liked eating the wax more then the juice candy. But all can't compare to Fun Dips which have literally and figuratively made my life more fun. The name doesn't lie. "Pop rocks" have made for some precious memories. And i am talking about eating them, not just the joy i get when feeding them to fish and other wild animals (Jk PETA). The most heavenly after pull and peal liquorish, which stole that motto from bananas btw, is the center of "War Heads". They are sour and literally a war of will power, but the finish line is sweet and heavenly. Thankyou "War heads" for your contribution to my life.
And one last factoid. I am an official pucker judge. Even ask my mom if you don't believe me. But I won a sour face contest with my picture and I became an "official pucker judge" for war heads. With that on my resume who could ever turn me down. Also if you want to pucker for me I will judge your pucker. And if you are a girl I might kiss you if you are ranking a ten and if your eyes are still closed. Just my advisory note.
Well fellow citizens, friends, and ETs. peace out and long live earth and its candy suppliers.

Peace is found under pillows!

DISCLAIMER: Has nothing to do with teeth, tooth fairies, chloroform, or hallucinations(well maybe that one isn't true).

Rain days rock. So sure they are gloomy, but i get work off for the day and i get to enjoy the rain. They don't give me work off for being to hot or cloudy, but i will take what i get. So today I did a lot of important nothing stuff. I paid my ticket for not wearing my seatbelt for one.

The Cop who literally pulled
my car over!

So i have had lot of tickets in my time. I got a couple speeding tickets, one which was 15 over in a school zone, was pricey. I have gotten out of a speeding ticket where i was going 18 over, and one where I ran a red light. Don't know how that one worked. I also have gotten like 10 parking tickets for parking the wrong way in a caldisack, parking too close to someones driveway, parking wrong at a meter, not paying for a meter, parking on a no park street, parking on the street during street sweeping day, and parking on the curb. So now i get a ticket for not wearing my seat belt, which is more like i hadn't gotten around to it, since i was leaving the parking lot. I also have been pulled over for having my license plate light out.
So what i am getting at, is that i only have 2 worthy tickets, the rest are sissy. I want a cool one like reckless driving, trying to run away from a cop, or just being too cool to drive. Something cool. I can imagine Jay walking will be my next petty offense.
So just had to vent some, because I feel like a Coca Cola that has been all shook up at times. So i would rather unscrew my own cap then make a mess of things on someones carpet.

My hand on left.

I don't know why i am bringing this up, but it is one of my top ten secrets about my life. It is funny though, so i will share it. When i was little i used to have panic attacks, which looking back they are a rush and crazy, but they were lame then. So you would be all chill and then BAM a panic attack, where you would panic. I remember running for like ten minutes between the garage and our front room in utter panic about nothing. It was tiring, but helped me stay in shape. Whoever said that mental disorders aren't healthy. However one time i had a panic attack and i thought i was turning into a girl. That was not healthy i can assure you. Then when i was mid attack my dad would shove my head under a pillow and although that sounds like abuse, it was helpful and they stopped.
I am better now, and my illness is gone, but I am still weird. So I can relate to mental illness people which is cool and I can say things like "I hear that", "word", "fo rissel", and "I know how that is." So if you are a girl that is cute and was attracted to me. Don't give up I am normal now with a mix of special. I can say i am a special human being without lying. So ask me out. Cuz even though i panic-ed about turning into a girl i didn't and I am a man.

They are trying to turn back into guys after
falling off the jungle gym.
Good Luck HOMIES!

And that whole thing came about because of a children's book. There was a boy who fell off a jungle gym and  kissed his elbow and turned into a girl. So then he had to fall again to turn back, which hurt. So this "children's book in reality scared the bergeebees out of me. Which that is not the correct way to spell that if you were wondering. Also for those who read avidly I am slightly sleep deprived hence the "two topic, comprehensive blog post."
Well now i am going to go look for pictures that relate, which will be an adventure all by itself.
Peace out my fellow rug rats?

Seconds of Fat Boys!

    So my regularity in blog posts has been diminishing. And my dedication to naps has increased. These are two conflicting events that don't co-habitate well. But truth is i have not met any weird people doing art or attempting to fly off their roof with homemade wings. I have a huge tarp in my backyard and I am tempted to make it into a parachute. I found this sweet ledge for my final testings, but i need a less big ledge to test it on first. Wings would be too challenging, because i don't think the pvc structure will hold up under my weight.
     I am now 2 bucks and one. That i think means i weight 201 pounds. Which it would be legit to try and get down just under 200 and then always be eating enough food to keep me at exactly that weight and then i can renew my drivers license and put that on it.

     And why can't i say I weigh 2 century pounds. Why does that only apply to years. Or I ate a decade of "fat boys". That is an ice cream sandwhich for those organic people out there.
     So "fat boys" are great. And yes i am going to tell a story, which is better then a musical alternative, because i can't sing. So in my ninja turtle days (they are exist) approximately five waxing moons (the moon doesn't even have hair didn't the people know that before they named that, of were they referring to the man on the moon) after my mother's birthday. I hope this is comprehensible with all my interjections like this one. But I was at my Nana's house on my mom's side and I said "Grammy I desireth sugar" (not referring to the girl Sugar). So turns out the people who work at the "fat boy factory" (which might be tied to an ironic coincidence that is highly probable) live right across the street. This was the day me and "factory seconds" were introduced.

     I am adding a new paragraph so i can put pictures in easier:-). Anyways these things are amazing as all get out, meaning they are the shiz, which means I hope they cover me in factory seconds when i die because they are so fantastic. Definition of Factory Seconds: not very presentable delicious mess-ups or masterpieces of experimentation. So these fat boys have ice cream and a chocolate bread. Which if that came in a loaf count me in for buying that and putting nutella on it. But the great thing about these factory seconds is that sometimes you get 3 or four slices of chocolate bread in the wrapper of double the amount of ice cream. It is always a surprise but never a gamble. Not like a blind date, but like finding money on the sidewalk. You could be surprised by the money amount, but anything over a dollar and you feel amazing.
     So rereading this I realize that this is like boggle, jumbled thoughts everywhere. My epiphany is this. The more sleep i get the more random i get and the less sense i make. So if it makes sense then you know how sleep deprived i am by the degree of understandability (cool word that doesn't get the red line of wrongness under it). So this is backward to how it should be, but here is a glimpse into my brain. If anyone is certified to diagnose me properly and not to hurt my sensings (synonym for feelings); am I prone to ADD? And i am prone to adding (like koolaid or milk to cereal), so i was referring to the mind condition.
     Well home-slices, ladies, lasses, and lads i am signing off without really signing off.

My Shaq Shank Redemption (in free throws)

Well maybe i wasn't this small.

So basketball is like standing on a two legged stool. I feel tall for a bit before i fall down. When i was in my elementary school days, I decided i wanted to play basketball. So i got on some YMCA team for basketball and it was co-ed. This little Asian dude on my team kicked my trash and one of the girls was arguably better then me. I was average hight at the time, so no help there.

Jungle ball in the finest!

In middle school I started playing again with my Mexican homies. They taught me some cool moves. It was jungle ball so i didn't know what a foul was and to be honest I don't really know today. I just know karate chopping people, kicking the ball, and touching people too much are fouls. I loved playing jungle ball, but it was short lived when Roberto who was my best friend got deported back to Mexico by his own mother because of his bad grades. My other Mexican friend found new friends which he liked the taste of more. Called drugs and 420 became more important then Halloween and candy so i knew it wouldn't work. That left me with the other white kid who had worn a cup to school every day because he had some wracking moments in his life, and this kid was one of those kids that made you loco too if you hung out with him too much.
So bball took a hold till deacon church ball. I was terrible. I was small at the time, and every shot was either a brick or a feather. I couldn't find the happy medium. I also still had the jungle ball mentality and I usually got pulled out for too much karate and soccer in my game. So I hung up my towel for what i thought was the last time.
Then I got tall. My grandma started calling me her Highness, and that is when i decided to go again. I was now tall, so i could at least rebound some and make 1 or 2 points per game. But they had to be within a two foot circle around the hoop with no one around.
I went on my church mission to Brazil where everyone is awesome at soccer and terrible at bball. So i got major excited when i could take up to 4 of those little guys 4 on 1. I got back though and reality hit, so i started to practice lots. I became c*cky most of the time except for these few circumstances.
I was beat 2 different times by girls at horse. I got dunked on by a 5'7" guy. And a few others.

Then working at Uhaul I asked Ervin Johnson on accident if he played bball and turns out he plays pro.
However later at Uhaul I ran into a guy that played pro on the Puerto Rican team. He gave me this motivational speech that you see only in movies like Miracle and Remember the Titans. I was so pumped after he told me I could achieve anything and gave me his telephone number and told me to call him when I became amazing. I felt i could go pro after his speech and I tried for maybe a week. He would have been ashamed at my last game though if he had only seen. It was a Shaq shank.
My latest was at our last bball game when I got fouled and air-balled, no net even, both of my shots. They might have been the worst airballs ever. If any of my girl crushes were there and saw that I would have killed over in shame. Instead it was just momentary blushing and yelling "stupid, stupid" at myself in my head. Then I air balled one more the next time i got fouled. Worst game of my life. Even the referee was mocking me.

But Monday we played again and I shot a free throw that was beautiful. And that was my Shaq shank redemption.
Love you all mostly kind of! peace out.

They cost more then people think, like when
you miss 3 really bad!