Friday, June 17, 2011

To Woo and be Swave

So i am blogging. Which is just a shortened way of saying,"being wordy about different things online". But I have been busy and have neglected magical moments. Like when my brother power-washed me and how my belly button was clean as a whistle (STOP: clean as a whistle is a dumb phrase, because they are not clean. They get spit in and lipstick on them). So it was actually cleaner then a whistle unless it was just purchased and hadn't been tested out in the store by some unsupervised child.
I also am working at Uhaul and i am finding cool things again. We found one of the Harry Potter picture frames, which is one of those digital picture frames where the pictures change. I plan on finding lots of cool things. Last summer i found a stop sign and that is ranked up there on coolest finds.
Then today i went to water world and did some sliding and stuff. It was epic and they were selling dippin dots. They are good, but we agreed that their slogan is now outdated. They are no longer the icecream of the future. Maybe their prices are inflated to a very future date, but they are now old and obviously the icecream companies like Dryers feel that normal icecream is still the future icecream. Little flavored hail balls shouldn't be considered the future anyways. I want more for less in the future and not less for more.
A knight with an axe and face paint
Wow i am already tired of typing and there is a pretty girl that I need to take on a date tonight. I have my woooer ready to wooo her. The sound unfortunately doesn't get the job done, but not making a woo sound is still considered as wooing. I also am bringing a broom to sweep her off her feet and she is light and so carrying her is not a problem. I will be her knight in armor. It may not be shiny because i usually shop at goodwill and new armor would be pricey.
Here is my game plan. First eat Wheaties, because it makes you good at things. Next call her and tell her that her wildest dreams will come true if she goes out with you. They get her some weird thing like chalk and then tell her that is her wildest dream coming true since that would be a wild dream to get chalk from a guy. Then i will take her to a mildly romantic setting where she isn't creeped out but senses swaveness in me. Then make sure to go to the bathroom when a creepy guy is near so I can return and rescue. Also I will find ways to point at things, because this is a chance to show off my muscles of iron. Put on my swagger deodorant, because it smells good and is supposed to have the same affects as Wheaties but on a flirting level. Then I will drop her off before her curfew so she can be happy. Then i will get my beauty sleep to rinse and repeat.
This is my copywrited plan of action. Can't say it has ever worked, but there is a first time for everything, just like there is for playing with fireworks and not vandalizing something on accident.
I miss you all. Sincerely, yours truly,
Your HIGHness

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