Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Shout out to my viewers!

Rex kicking Kips white trash
So today my mom was showing me how to use my blog more, which was weird because she is my mother. She is expert, like Rex Kwon Do is at self-defense (a Napoleon Dynamite reference). She is blogging about her love, i.e. my dad. I on the other hand is blogging about my love of self, food, and animals. So i figured since this hunk of amazingness, myself, who has now had a realization of conceitedness decided to give a shout out to the people who read this. I found it crazy to find out that over 900 people had read my blog. I want to give a shout out to the Slovenian, Korean, German, and my other foreign readers. Props to you for translating or trying to translate my broken, sometimes slanged out stories and ramblings. So yay to you all, and feel free to pat yourself on the back, or on the shoulder if you are not that flexible.
     So question, why is it the more muscular you get the less flexible you get. Like the mister Olympia who squats like 800 pounds and benches like 400, and is ridiculously huge probably has trouble showering. I am slightly huge and i have trouble washing my back. I get creative trying to wash that small point in the middle of my back. I want to create the bear tree, and no stealing my idea unless you give me credit when you tell your friends. It is a mat that looks like a trunk of a tree and sticks to the shower wall. Then you can put soap on it and then wash your back using it and it will message as well. It will be like the jungle book when the bear that is blue rubs his back against the tree.
     Like so:-). I also find it interesting how if you Google "bear scratching back on tree" how many images there are of bears scratching their backs. I looked for pictures of other animals scratching their backs on trees and i was unsuccessful. I guess only bears do it. I figure this is because bears are so strong and muscular that they can't reach their own backs to scratch them. This also means that if they were in a shower, then they wouldn't be able to wash their backs, which means they could use my bear tree is well. So i will market my idea to bears and to homo-sapiens. I will most likely sell my product in stores next to the protein powder.
     I just realized how that went full circle and also how i talked about animals even though i didn't plan on it. You would think i was a "vet," as in veterinarian or something, not as in a war guy. So that mean i still need to talk about myself and food still to be complete. Soooooo Cinnamon Toast Crunch is what i ate for breakfast like 15.56 minutes ago and i decided that if you just keep eating bowl after bowl with the same milk, you end up drinking pure cinnamon an sugar by the end, because it all sinks to the bottom of your bowl.
    So me now! I am a bear and food fan. Also i went to my first NBA game last night for the Nuggets and i almost lost my voice. I yelled so loud and wore this tight jersey that my friend Luke gave me in like 7th grade. It fits a little tighter now and it is good it is stretchy, because I like those most. They won and it was sssssssssssssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccccccckkkkkkkk!!! I took pictures and i will try and put them up later. Well i need to go and shape my eyebrows and pimp my hair. I will be better about writing now that i know Chinese people read this, because I would love to culture them on bears and American, Caucasian, suburban, Mormon, ness I guess. So as Spock would say "Live long and prosper" and peace out.

1 comment:

  1. haha good post Brett! I think you should definitely market the bear thing. It'll go far!