Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Easter Begs Eggs!

Not me but i like his egg. Easter needs
to adopt bigger eggs.
So i got chewed out today and this whole week about not being in the Easter spirit. And when my mom refers to the easter spirit, it is the one with painting eggs and loving the easter bunny. So even though Easter was several days ago, she is still trying to persuade me to paint an egg and be creative. I told her that i wasn't creative, but she insisted that I was because i was wearing an orange shirt, that i didn't design or sow together. So then i brought up my artistic brother Cory and how creative he is and the fact that he wears boring colors like black and stuff. She then said that he isn't creative then. So I noted in my mind that I can't wear colorful shirts anymore or i might give people the wrong idea and have them believe i am creative or something.
Mom thinks I have this kind of talent.
     So my mom wanted to paint the eggs in a really creative way, so she gave them arms and faces and paint brushes and had them set up in a scene where they were all joyfully painting one another. She saw the idea on-line somewhere. I want to put them in a box and take a picture. Why is it you can take art and sculptures and they are just sculptures and art until you put them in a box, and then all of a sudden it becomes a diorama. I love dioramas, I can't lie. Dioramas and co-loges are the funniest kinds of art to me.
No resemblance to mine;-)
    I am reminded of my high school years during a time of my identity crisis and self misconceptions. I joined choir and a sculpture class. I believed that i was good at them because my elementary school teachers gave me A's. It must have been all participation based, because my art is bad. Anyways my sculpture class gave me one A and that was on a project where we made a mold of our hand and then had to have a theme. I eat a lot, so i but a blueberry bagel on the thumb and painted blue dots all over. So surprisingly that kept me from failing at an elective class. Luckily i sat by a really attractive girl so there are no regrets. However we had two other assignments that made me realize i am not an artist and that art is flawed. One we had to make a clay sculpture that could act as a fountain. I tried sculpting a gargoyle, but it failed. It looked like an disproportional dog who had come from a mother who married her brother if you know what i mean. The head was way huge. But my teacher didn't like that I had water coming in the butt hole and coming out of the mouth. I could have switched it and had it flow the other way, but that wouldn't have helped i am sure.
This art piece is called the "persistence of time" and is world
world famous. What does a horse have to do with time, and
why is that considered good art if the horse looks like
anything but a horse. The clocks are cool though. Go art!
    The next failure was sculpting something out of wire. I chose a helicopter, because i figured i couldn't screw it up. It turned out good, but lacked creativity as my teacher said. The kid next to me got frustrated and crumpled his up. He had to turn it in that day though, so he squished legs and a trunk-ish thing out of it and called it an abstract elephant. He got an A for a piece of cr*p. I decided then that abstract art is just art that was messed up on. This was the day I gave up on art and stuck to sports.
     I want to talk about choir, but that is a whole other story that is too long to write here. But there is me and art in a eggshell. peace out.

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