Friday, September 30, 2011

I am distracted by the distracted! Ironic

So i am quietly chilling at the library. There is a girl in front of me sitting at a computer desk, with her laptop on the keyboard of the school keyboard and it is in front of the school monitor. She is strange and to top it off she is watching "The Crosby Show". She also took her shoes off, which is cool because at least she has good taste in socks. But she has her homework out, with obviously no intention of touching it since she is watching Crosby re-runs. I decided to not even get my homework out since at the moment I have no desire to study. I have been in weekend mode since i woke up.
Also there is a kid who is using a way higher decibel amount that should be used in a library and he has sparkles on his shirt.
Another kid has his foot on the desk and his laptop on his lap. It is so distracting and he has new balance. Which is a dumb name for a shoe since new balance is not something I am looking for. It is not like i was walking to school today and almost tipped over and thought to myself, "I wish i had new balance, because my old balance is getting old and unstable." And if someone does have trouble, I doubt people are going to buy those and think, "Now i wont fall over, and now i am going to unicycle." Just saying that it doesn't work like that. I am wearing plaid shoes and they make me feel like i am having a party, but i like them most because they slide on tile.
I need to go because I think the kid next to me is leering and might find out that I am people watching, because i keep glancing at his screen and then typing stuff. I think he is slightly paranoid. I love some of you and like some of you, and would even hug the strangers who are reading this, because obviously you are bored and for that reason you need a hug. They also sell them at most grocery stores next to snickers and kisses. Snickers usually don't boost moral btw.
adios muchachos.

OK Cupid is my pond

So I am on a dating site! And it is a blast. People ask me why i have one and i say for fun, but then they look confused as if fun and dating sites dont go together. Flash, with news before it, (newsflash) they do. I went out with a black girl off of it and had a sweet time, and it was partly due to the fact i got candy on my frozen yogurt. And the sour worms and sweedish fish get wicked hard, and IDK why that is. But i have had wicked tall, small, thick, thin and middleish write me and it is cool, but what makes it fun is what you can write them.
I recently wrote this to a girl was paired with me because of my criteria. Her status said she was afraid of marriage and said she was looking for a non-creeper. I wrote her this:
"So it is too soon to ask you to marry me and I know you wouldnt from your profile. Which leaves me to eating scooby doo fruit snacks, which are awesome, and watching re-runs of Bonanza. Or you can just say hi and i will say hi back, then you can say hi again, and then we might get into quality conversations about saving whales and how we feel when we have to to watch scary movies alone. This sounds so weird and it is, but i am not. I am more just hoping you read all this and I imagine you scratching your head because you are confused and not because you have a dry scalp. I am like the toy in a cracker jack box. It is now up to you if you want to open the box and find me. I am a fun surprise. Ttyl and enjoy the caramel corn."
So will she write me? I doubt it. Am i a creeper? I probably am. Is it fun weirding people out? Why not? I do it every day and It is who I am. Why am i not married? Go figure (shrug) {I just shrugged}.

Love Bretty :-)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Thor is not my name:-(

So i started a while back writing a  new post, but woe and behold a meteor struck my house and made it impossible to post it. Bad timing? So i went to the crash sight and no aliens:-( there was a knife stuck in a rock in the center, but i couldnt pull it out. My parents did not name me Thor or Author and so i am holding my parents accountable for my lack of becoming really cool and a hero. So i came home and ate a grapefruit and then some grape nuts and then some raisins.
Now days later after days of soldering wires my computer is fixed and I am posting my tall tale. It is a tall tale solely because i am tall, not because it is not true. Although I didnt not say it was not true. I should not not tell the truth. I lied and i feel guilty.
So i am going to bed, but i wanted to say hi to all of you invisible people and I am going to go brush my teeth with some minty Colgate. peace out.